Wednesday, May 05, 2010
i'm sorry; this might be a very long post ..and maybe a lil bit emotional .. read, if u wish to .. leave, if u wishh too alright ?
i'm thinking bck, way bck wen i've gotten my o's .. result rabak serabak mungkin .. and i guess, i didnt make the wrong choice; goin to ITE,instead of retaking my o's .. and i'm not regreting it now .. yes, i noe .. i HAVE disappoint my maa with that decision .. she told me what she actually hope from me,right aft i've received my o's .. she expect me to be much better than em, cause i'm her last .. and i've failed to do so .. but watever it is, she still support me thru out my journey in ite, NEVER once she gave up ..
2years bck, wen i was 17 .. i was in my student nurse uniform .. but now, goin 19 , i'm gonne be in my hospital uniform very soon .. time flies real fast, dont u tink so ?
yes, i did have the tot of quiting nursing bck in 1.2, aft all those shits that i was given in cp .. but thinking abt my maa, i give it a second tot .. i've disappoint her way too much .. quiting nursing means, i'm letting her down, again .. yes, i stay on ..
thinking bck again, when, okay let name hym looney, actually ask me ..
''is nursing reali what u wanted right from the begining ? were u forced to take up nursing ? if yes, i can give u the form to quit now''
i just kept quite, but deep dwn inside .. i just feel lyke saying bck at hym, '' yes,i force myself to be in nursing ! i hate nursing, eversince i got u as my cp lecturer! nursing isnt what i wan when i step into ite ! i'm still holding on to this,bcoz of my mum! '' lagi sipi jek nak klua kan tu smue, tapi tahan oii ! btol2 da tak brsemangat nak cont on ..
YES, that was bck den when i was in 1.2 .. the situation was kecoh larh okay ! my sisters & mum started asking me whats wrong and all .. huhu~ tak tau larh aper jadi ngn aku skrg klau aku quit that tym, eh ??
but now, i no longer hate being a nurse ! heh
instead, i enjoyed it ! yea beh-bey ! u read it right ..
so, right now, i'm doin sumting that my maa didnt reali lyke abt it ..
i'm sorry maa, for not goin with my plan, i just lyke bein this way ..
i'm sorry for not bein lyke sisters, cause i'm not lyke em ..
yes, SGH was my very first hospital that i say i will work in, once i've graduate ..
cause i can gotowork,gobckhome,etc with sisters if we were to be in the same shift ..
den again, i wanted KKH too ..
cause i love babies and kids, saper tak kan ?
but i chg my mind, right aft my very last attchmt ..
i just wan to try out sumting different frm sisters ..
bole kan maa ?? believe in me maa ..
i wont go crazy, i promise u k maa ?
and so, i'll be spending my very last day bein an 18yrs old kid meaningfully ..
which means; 10may 2010 ..
i'm looking forward to it, trust me !
(: